I’m always up in the air on which game I want to play. It seems like I debate video games, just as much as choice. Right now I’ve been pretty much into Elderscrolls Online because my friends (who I grew up with) don’t have computers and only play PS4. So it’s a no brainer to play with people you’ve known for a long time. I do enjoy World of Warcraft and Star Wars the Old Republic but what I’ve realized is, I’ve played them for so long they are just a routine at this point.
I feel like I just play because it’s part of my daily routine. I’m not even sure if I play anymore because I’m having fun. I use to enjoy it but now I feel like it’s just a second job. I don’t know when it changed into work, but it definitely did.
I find it hard to walk away from them at times and I debate if I should subscribe or not. Right now I turned off SWTOR because all I do is level and who needs a subscription for that? The same can be said with WoW, I only level so it’s not like I really need to be logging in everyday for something I’ve done a billion times. There is something to be said for that experience increase buff, that makes me just want to level though.
I might turn them off and walk away for a bit, just because I’m not really enjoying the social aspect. Though I say I love the wow community, the truth is I love the social media WoW community. My guild is great and they talk alot and always offer to do stuff but in reality I only play the game, I don’t socialize. The Twitter or YouTube community is what I speak of mostly, I’m always on there and I interact quite a bit. Enough for me to wonder if I should take a break from that too.
My wife and friends are giving me shit because they think I’m trying to get famous on the internet and I tell you I’m not. That it’s not the reason I go on podcasts, or reply to social media threads. I just find these people are more like me then anyone I know in real life. I feel like we sync in so many levels in real life, with our thoughts, our game styles, and our struggles. I feel like we all met at a giant convention, we’d all be real life friends.
One of the reasons I like to interact in the community is I feel like me being an altoholic allows me to help others. I always fight the urge to delete, remake, or I come up with new ideas to allow me to keep the ideas going. I see someone post about their struggle on picking mains, or wanting to start over and I instantly feel I can help. I see it and hear it on a daily basis through social media. I know that I can offer a person ways to deal with that internal struggle of being an altoholic because I’ve been one for over 20+ years and in pretty much every game I play. I can’t stand watching people attacking others because they don’t play the way they do. This always drives me crazy and I want to show people there is nothing wrong with them for playing this way.
That’s pretty much the reason I go to social media and the internet to play, maybe that’s why I hardly stream. I always feel no one would give two shits about watching me level my 44th alt in WoW or seeing the same Jedi Knight story I just broadcasted weeks ago. No to me there has to be a better reason to stream and reach out to people, however I have not found it yet. So I guess I will go back to the mental distortion I’ve given myself and try to figure out what game to play, and why I should reach out on social media?
I still don’t know that answer or any others, when it comes to gaming.