The Past and Present

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Whenever I let Spotify do its thing while I’m driving, I start to think about the past.  I can’t play Bon Jovi and not think of High School, though I grew up in 90s grunge rock. I was obsessed with Bon Jovi and that brought a lot of unwanted jokes.  Brad one of my best friends still gives me crap.

Walking around the old high school courtyard yard, while starring at pretty girls and thinking to myself.  Do they even know who I am? As Bon Jovi’s “She Don’t Know Me” ran through my head. That or “Alice In Chains”, Would?  It’s baffling for sure. How how does romance meet aggression? Romance always won. My mind would go right back to Bon Jovi music and wishing those chicks knew who I was.  

I was an old romantic who couldn’t speak a word to anyone.  So shy and scared of talking, I just lived in silence. Ugh, to this day I get mad at myself when I drift back to my actions. I would have loved to change them but they say, you can’t live in the past. Speaking to the world wasn’t as difficult as I made it seem back then.  I wouldn’t change much about my current life, it’s wonderful but damn I wish I spoke more 25 years ago. So shy and lived in fear of reactions from others. That’s what I would love to have fixed about myself.

I play music from Everclear and I start thinking how screwed up my mind was because out of all the artists out there. I related to Art Alexakis lyrics more than anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I still think he is a great artist.  Though I think I was definatley in some dark and overly happy places in the past. Even more insane when I think about it today. I find it hard to even get through any of their songs, these days. I have to force myself to listen to the happier ones, but I related to more of the sadder songs.  

I’ve drifted more into podcasts and sports radio since I got older.  I love history or gaming podcasts and you can’t go wrong with ESPN’s lineups. I just did my first ever guest spot on a World Of Warcraft podcast, Girls Gone WoW.  I was a nervous wreck but loved every minute of the show. EJ and Raven were a blast to talk too, very easy going. I really like being part of the gaming community but I’m still shy at times. 

Today my go too in music. for sure has been Shinedown or the Foo Fighters.  I definatley relate to their music more and really tend to enjoy it. It’s funny how our music tastes change.  I now listen to Jon Bon Jovi’s Blaze of Glory soundtrack more than any Bon Jovi album. I love the old west and the visions it brings me. 

Welp my thoughts are all over the place again.  I’m still working on my western novel but I stopped on chapter 7 because I need some grammar fixes and rewrites.  My friends ripped it apart and it made me rethink it a lot. It’s easier to fix it now than when the book is done. I’ll start chapter 8 soon. I promise and I’ll post the whole thing completed on wattpad.

Excuse any typos or grammatical errors. I’ve typed this on a small phone.

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